Renowned Lebanese Actor Opens Up About His Battle With Depression And Panic Attacks
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Lebanese actor, writer, and TV personality Tarek Soueid, in a remarkable TV episode of Ana Hek (I'm like this), contributed to the ongoing fight against the stigma surrounding mental health in Lebanon:
He opened up about his personal struggles and sharing his chronic experiences with mental illness.
The poisonous stigma
In the opening minutes of the episode, aired on Al-Jadeed on February 5th, Tarek Soueid remarked how he knew that many of the people around him would've advised him against making the TV appearance had he discussed it with them.
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But his knowledge of the positive impact that he could make by speaking up was what motivated him to move forward with it. "I honestly prefer to think about this one person whom I might help instead of the 500 who would [oppose the idea]."
Neshan Der Haroutiounian, the host of the program, later recalled his own experience of visiting a therapist for the first time.
He said that he was "embarrassed and afraid to be deemed crazy by people because there's a taboo [surrounding mental health] in Lebanese society."
To this, Tarek declared that he regrets going through this hesitation to seek help. "This is why, today, I speak up about it. Today I'm well, there's nothing that forces me to open up."
On the pains of depression
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"What was the matter with you?" Neshan asked his first question to Tarek, who sighed and struggled to find the one right answer.
"I feel that the word Mdapras [common Lebanese word for depressed] degrades it," he began. "Sadness certainly degrades it."
He then said that depression was "something that only those who've experienced it can describe it."
If you feel in despair and darkness, talk to someone who can understand and help you through . Please CALL 1564 Embrace LifeLine Lebanon.
When asked when his depression began, he explained that he has always been "different" from his peers, especially during his teenage years. As a 19/20-year-old, "I was shy to say that I was in pain... Even to myself, I wouldn't admit that."
"I've always felt that I was unlike other people. I was more sensitive and not in a good way." Abnormally sensitive is how Tarek described it here.
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"Often I'll be parking my car and I'll see a plant going under the wheel. I then ask myself, 'what if it says ouch?' " He pointed out that this oversensitivity caused him discomfort and pain.
He also gave another intriguing example when the host asked him to comment about his "remarkable relationship with animals."
He said that his abnormal sensitivity made him see - and relate to - "the sadness in their eyes" which he hated seeing.
Returning to the original question, he declared: "I had chronic depression over long years." He went on to explain how negatively this mental illness affected his life and his attitude towards his successful dream-career.
"I never expected that, at that time when I should've been very happy, I wouldn't desire anything anymore."
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If you feel in despair and darkness, talk to someone who can understand and help you through . Please CALL 1564 Embrace LifeLine Lebanon.
On his solitude and introversion
As he indicated during the talk, Tarek Soueid is introverted: "I have a zone for my own; it's where I sit [alone]."
He said that although he absolutely loves people, he just values his time alone, where he feels "safe" and prefers it "over a thousand things that I could do."
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