You’re finally talking to your Lebanese crush after a while of stalking his mom’s Facebook page? You go, girl! Lebanese talking-stage can take a while, though.
It is honestly brave to move past the red flags you noticed on his TikTok- but hey! Maybe they are all stereotypes, maybe he is a decent guy.
Tell me though, have you crossed paths with the infamous texts, like “What are you wearing rn?”, or “Showering? Without me? *Crying emoji*”? Maybe you haven’t… But I am sure you’ve heard some kind of variety of those same pick-up lines!
So, here is a list of “confessions” most Lebanese men will tell you and what they actually mean:
1. “I’m Very Religious.”
There is a huge chance he is not. He is using the “I’m a man of God” card to make you trust him and gain your respect—when in reality, he might be the total opposite!
I am sure he has better achievements to respect him for… maybe.
2. “I Don’t Believe In Boy-Girl Friendships.”
Wonder what that means? Yes, he never had a girl (space) friend without catching feelings.
He won’t accept any of your guy friends, and the girl you don’t need to worry about… Well, WORRY!
3. “I Don’t Care What People Say; I Am Confident.”
Ah yes, Mr. “Independent Thinker”. Spoiler alert: he is not.
In fact, he already asked his family and friends group chat about you! This one will make your life a living hell. Skip, please…
4. “You’re The First Girl To Make Me Feel This Way. You’re Different From The Other Girls.”
A classic! The zero-effort compliment is supposed to make you feel “special”.
Well… I’m sorry to tell you this but the 26 other “special” girls he is talking to are also competing for the same title. Should I even get started on the “You are mature for your age” line? The same red flag, but with different letters. Hey… at least he’s literate!
5. “You Deserve Someone Better Than Me.”
You better believe him… He is not lying about this one.
Unlike all the other “I told you” moments, he has a point in this one.
6. “My Phone Was On 1%. Sorry, I couldn’t Text Back.”
He saw and he ignored.
He doesn’t care enough, and his phone definitely was not “on the charger in the other room.”.
7. “Whatever You Need, Call Me.”
“Connections” or “Wasta,” he says. Just know if you were to call, it would go to voice mail!
So next time you get a ticket for parking illegally, just pay the damn thing.
8. “I Am Going To Marry You. Here, Talk To My Mom On Video Call.”
You will never hear from this man again… Might as well prepare for your virtual divorce!
The girl names you picked out for your kids… Careful! They might be his other options.
9. “You Hit The Gym? It Looks Like It.”
Don’t bother telling him your gym split or how much you deadlift. He doesn’t care.
Men can only see that body, take my word for it. You work legs, right?!
10. “I’m An Entrepreneur.”
He is broke, sis. MOVE ON!
Give the other guy in your DMs a shot.
11. “You Are The Only Girl I’m Texting.”
“The only girl I’m texting today, or at this moment”, here, we fixed that statement for you to make it true.
Maybe he is taking the others on a date rather than texting! Give him the benefit of the doubt.
12. “I Really Love Your Style And How You Dress.”
Do I even need to tell you? This stands true till you are his girl.
Then you will need a wardrobe makeover. The same dress that caught his attention will soon catch fire. Welcome the new you! Or don’t.
13. “Can We Still Be Friends.”
“We can’t be friends, But I’d like to just pretend” Yeah, we all love this song!
We also love when she says “For now it’s only me”, because we are not going to be the backup plan for someone’s son.
14. “I Didn’t Tell You Because I Didn’t Think You’ll Mind.”
Think of what pisses you off the most. Yeah, he did exactly that!
He knew… He claims to know everything… Not this though?
15. “I’m On The Way…”
…To the shower. He hasn’t even showered yet, and you will see him an hour later.
Typical Lebanese behavior, right? Let’s hope they’re not all like this.
Ah, the talking stage in Lebanon—where “What are we?” is a national debate, and family approval might just come before your own! From decoding vague texts to surviving the inevitable “When will I meet your parents?” interrogation, dating here is anything but boring.
Sure, it’s a rollercoaster of mixed signals, unspoken expectations, and a sprinkle of village gossip, but hey, that’s what makes it fun!
So, whether you’re dodging the “shu naweyek?” question or mastering the art of strategic ghosting, just remember—if you can survive the Lebanese talking stage, you can survive anything.
Happy dating (and may the odds be ever in your favor)!
